2009 was a nightmare, 2010 was pretty much the loneliest year of my life, but 2011... what a great year...!
so many, but so many good things happened in my life!
but this, was probably the greatest of all things... I can feel there's a big comment coming...c:
Two years have passed since I changed schools. And as some of you might know, it wasn't the best of adventures. I was expecting to have a great time and meet cool people, but all I got was loneliness. People would only value my skills, never who I truly was. So basically, I was invisible.
I've always been secure of what I am, but last year, I began to doubt even what was certain. It's wrong to say that I don't care about what people think of me, because when you don't find anyone to share yourself with (you know, opinions, jokes, laughs..) you begin to feel that hard beat in your chest, that keeps saying "you don't belong here". Every time I tried to be myself, I got those terrible looks, telling me how strange and clumsy I was, how stupid and out-placed.
Since I had classes in the afternoon too, I used to lunch at school every thursday (no time to explain why now). I always lunched alone, so I used to sit down and start drawing while peacefully eating. One day, a six-year-old boy with a weird spanish accent came out of the blue and sat next to me. He watched me intensely for 10 minutes, and after that, he asked me if he could draw too. I gave him a pen and paper, and we spent the whole lunch time drawing together.
The next day, the boy came to me again, and asked once again if he could draw with me. Of course I let him, and soon I was incredibly surrounded by little kids, with big, curious eyes. One of them, a little girl called Marcela, got the courage and asked me "who are you?". I was surprised with such strong question, and just answered "well, I don't know, I'm just a student". She looked right into my eyes and said "WOW! you don't know who you are??" haha I just laughed. But the girl was right. Actually, she made me think a lot xD I didn't know who I was anymore. I just knew who I should be, "just a student", but not who I really was.
Those encounters with the kids kept on happening every thursday. The funny thing is that I'm sort of a shy, closed person. And so are the kids. Kids of 6, 7 years old are very closed within themselves, and are normally afraid of talking to the "older ones" of my age. But they strangely seemed to trust me, and to really like me more and more.
Soon, they would all come the whole way down the courtyard everyday, screaming my name, and when they finally found me, and persecuted me until I had no breath at all, they would say "let's take her down!!!" and yeah... They would jump all over me until I fell on the ground xD
We played every minute I could stay with them. We would roll on the ground, run, fall, pretend, tell stories... everything I used to love doing when I was younger. And I was doing it again. I was back to my golden days
But they were real pests some times, and no matter how much I hid myself or run, I just couldn't get rid of them!
But on the other hand, I was feeling lonely, stupid and clumsy by the time those kids first appeared in my life. I thought I wasn't worth a thing, and that I would never have a good relationship with people, because I'm too childish. But they showed me a new part of this story. They all admired me for who I truly am.
Marcela and the rest of the little girls used to tell me I was the most beautiful person they had ever met, and that they wanted to be just like me when they were grown!! can you believe it??(LOL it brings tears to my eyes just to think of that now )
They all used to tell me they wanted to draw like me as well, and we would spend my whole lunch time drawing!
it was pretty much stressful, cause they would all keep on calling my name at the same time, all trying to show me something or tell me something. But it was worth it all!
Little Marcela, (the one who's on my head in the drawing), used to call me "big sister". She already had an older sister, in fact, but she used to tell me she was evil. She told me she wanted me to be her new sister! x3
Of course, it didn't take long until my other friends found out about my new little companions. They would all give me that "just what the heck are you doing??" look. But I didn't care anymore. I had found somewhere in that place where I could feel like I belonged again (you might be reading and thinking I hit my head hard before writing this) but I do have a point. We never know where the love and acceptance will come from, thats why we must keep our hearts open
Well, all of that ended up where I never thought it would: people from all over the school got to know me, or hear about me. Every teacher was talking about me, and hearing things like "Look! that's the girl who does those drawings!!" became more and more common.
In the end, I was surrounded by friends. Even from my own class. I had regained confidence in who I truly am again, and from somewhere no one would have ever guessed: through the young hearts of children who never judged me
Having to say good bye was hard even for me in the end of this year, since it was my last year at school. Marcela and Melone hugged me and cried, and made me promise I would come back to visit her and the others. But unfortunately, I probably won't be able to do so :/ but I'll be forever grateful for what they did to me. I was lost, and they were the ones to show me the right way back. They were little angels heaven sent to me.
so anyways, here are the names of the kids in the pic, from left to right: Mariana (the one sitting), Melone (with the flower), Marcela (on my head), Patrick (looking at my drawings) and Nicole (next to Patrick)
sorry for the blabing AGAIN, but I really needed to share this with you guys!
PS: There's still a second part of this story, but I'll stop here before this comment gets too long. It's just a special detail I would also like to share, but it will have to wait for my next drawing!
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i LUV your work too! especially OMFA
Love wolves!!!! They are so fluffy :3
Sorry for bad english (sometimes )
I love it!!!!!!!
I love the coloring, the expression on there faces ( I love this picture)
I also love this story you wrote, it's a very nice story and it suits very good with this picture.
love the picture as well, it's cute!
I'm thinking of moving schools coz i hate my school im at now...you should find a person on da called Rinermai - she's amazing at drawing, like you, i bet you'd like her a lot.
I think that its hard for people to fit in when they want to be noticed but if people just keep to themselves (like me) then soon they get noticed for talent or something and then people become friends with that person and they find out who they truly are...
well, the children and you have a big big heart, when I read it I cried and realized that you're a great person, and also draw very amazing, these children showed a very valuable thing you never doubt that. Also hope to have a feat like this.
besides, these children you value highly, if I were you NEVER bring them out of my heart♥♥♥.
ps: do not be shy and talk to people, byebye .. kisses kisses, I hope you are successful in your life.
That's an adorable story. I read all your comment (even if I'm french and don't understand probably every words) and found that story quite magic People too much judge the other, and what that kids give to you is just adorable Your story is really touching, there is no other words - or I don't know there words
Never be afraid to be yourself, to be "childish" if that world please you People who judge you without knowing you doesn't deserve to be your friends After all, those kids are true friends and make you alive again... What a beautiful lesson they give to us !
Thanks for sharing this with us!
I can't wait to know the second part of the story
I`ve read your text, and it is many things I can recognize myself in. And you know, even though people call you childish or something like that, keep giong! Your the only one to decite that anyway. And everyone is different. Being unique isn`t wrong, it`s something to be proud of!
And besides that this truly is a cute and beautiful picture!
I can't write as openly and as straight-from-the-heart as you can, but I really envy how full of love your year was. To be brought back up from the shadows like that-it would be worth whatever trouble they came to save you from.
I cried. But I'm glad you had such a glad year
Yes, kids can be little angels. Even they don't know what they are talking about... They just say so great things. And sometimes they didn't know how they are changing life!
Amazing story, the same like picture.
But I still hope this little angels will meet you someday, or join you on dA, making they own style, and become like you, someone who they really are.